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the von bon-bons of west hollywood

i wrote this in 1983 … time was not kind — they both went to jail for a while for selling drugs and then one of them died from aids … i’ve lost track of the other … but at the time this was written everything was fab – u – lous

having business to do

in the wilds of l.a.
i asked the von bon-bons
if i might stay —
rent a room for a month
at the chateau des garcons
with its pools
and parties
and plethora of phones

 

“but of course!” screamed eureka
“we’ll have oodles of fun
dancing and dunking
and drinking the sun!”

so i packed up my life
and headed out west
and joined the von bon-bons
in their fabulous nest

 

my room was a palace
my days were a breeze
with every convenience
to put me at ease
the pleasures could fill
an encyclopedia
and needless to say
they give excellent media

 

convivia and eureka von-bon-bon
the dears
run business and home
and coddle the queers
and the machos
and other fun sorts
who stop by for nachos
and water-type sports
though their first names may have
a feminine ring
they are often quite butch
and less queen than king
the von bon-bon estate
would make boy george cheer
“abandon all gender
ye who come here”

 

convivia in the kitchen
making milk and honey
eureka in the parlor

being very funny
and i with my night-cap
observing the scene

this is what “gay”
was invented to mean

 

then they’re off to the east
or the south or northwest
peddling their glasses
and the rest of the wares
designed to elicit

envious stares

von bon-bons know fashion
from bottom to top
when you see what’s for sale
you’ll shop ‘til you drop

 

dorothea von bon-bon
whose lineage is royal
has the essence of charm
and the absence of toil
she lounges all day
in sartorial splendor
barks at all comers
and sniffs at their gender

 

spotorina von bon-bon
stops by now and then
and we’re all too, too tasteful
to ask where he’s been
some things are better
left unsaid and unknown
and we’d rather not ponder
where spot’s fur has flown

 

i’m feeling quite wistful
that my stay’s at an end
i’ve made a few bucks
and many a friend
the style is high
and the living is good
when you join
the von bon-bons
of west hollywood

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