09  Oct
cloud five

though eight years have passed, somehow october always reminds me of the opening of side show on broadway … it was certainly one of the highlights of my life and did inspire several poems … this is one …

perception
is all about
where you’re standing

for instance
i recently made
my broadway debut
as a writer
and after
two highly favorable notices
in the record of note
i keep getting
cards
letters
phone messages
or stopped on the street

“you must be on cloud nine”

which from all outward appearances
should be the case

but bruce
who sees this from very close to where i’m standing
(which lucky for me is where he often can be found)
says i’m really on cloud five
because those favorable notices
flattering as they were
have not created
the rush to the box office
that might be expected

and therefore
each day
is filled
with anxiety about sales
and wraps
and the number of bodies in seats that particular performance
or the numbers of dollars generated by those bodies

it all comes down to the numbers
and the numbers are definitely disappointing

so nine seems several clouds away

but just try explaining that
to people on cloud three
they think you’re ungrateful
and a whiner
because
“if those positive quotes
referred to me
i’d be dialing the moving van
and changing my cloud to number nine
without a peep of complaint
mister-ungrateful-for-all-you’ve-been-given”

and i have been given bounties of blessings
and i’ve been on clouds one through nine
and back to four
where i fervently hoped for more

so i’m not ungrateful to be on five

but being hyperaware
of the numbers these days
perception is a curious mix
of projection and desire
and i’d be a liar not to note
we’re in a bit of a fix
and i’d be more than happy
to move to cloud six

posted by admin on October 9, 2005, at 1:00 am | filed under poetry, side show | no comments »

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